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Senioritis

A picture to remind me that there’s more to Austin than campus

It’s no secret that I desperately want to get out of school. I’m tired of the culture more than anything - parties, immaturity, people staying up until five in the morning so that when you call at eleven to see what they’re doing for the day, you feel guilty because you woke them up. I’m tired of people still acting like they need their mommies to be able to function at all. I’m tired of people spending their student loans on going out to eat every day because they’re too lazy to boil some water for noodles. I can’t wait to be out of this little tiny apartment and into an actual house where I’ll have the room to move my computer and little television set out of my bedroom. The cats are tired of being here too, already. They’re bored and they hate being limited to my bedroom, a living room, and the bathroom.

I think it’s mostly just walking around and hearing people act like we did back in high school. We all just have cabin fever. This morning Augustus has been whining at the top of his lungs and I have no idea why. Letting him look out the kitchen window helped for awhile but every time someone walks by he gets terrified and jumps down, and then can’t get back up. Sata has been just laying listlessly under my bed, and I know he’s bored and wants to go outside but I can’t let him because of all the weirdos who hang around here and the non-neutered cats who are aggressive and spray all over the place.

And me? I will be very glad when I’m completely done with pop quizzes and dirty carpets and leaky faucets in the bathroom and lack of windows. I always thought I’d love to live in apartments, moving from place to place, never tied down. Then I actually began living in one and it’s killing me (not really - I’m dramatic).

I guess I’m just tired of living the student life. I don’t want to settle down, but I’d like to get out of this area, out of school, and get on with my life. University students, especially the ones here, are so pushy, rude, immature, and self-centered. I get off a city bus and everyone who gets off with me is thanking the bus driver, saying “have a nice day” and all that. I get of a university shuttle and it’s silence. People will yell at a bus driver and then never once say “thank you.” It’s ridiculous. I’m so ready to be done with it. They push in front of you when you’re walking and never excuse themselves, or they bump into you and never say they’re sorry. They’ll talk loudly on their cell phones in quiet areas and expect you to just deal with it.

It doesn’t help that there’s 30,000 of us here. This is a huge university, and you can easily be anonymous or get involved, whichever you want. But either way, you can’t avoid the crowds of girls in shorts and t-shirts and flip-flops, yapping on their cell phone and pushing through, or the frat boys with the stupid polo shirts who walk really closely behind you when there’s no one else around. And it doesn’t help that the university has taken on three major construction projects, cutting off most access routes to the buildings, which increases the crowds along one of the roads so much that you can’t even hear yourself think.

tl;dr? I’m tired. I’m ready to be out of here. Senioritis for the lose.

February 24, 2009 @ 11:32 am . Comments (8)

General — Tags: annoyance, cats, Future, living, school

Goings on

We’ve not quite decided on the house yet. We put down a deposit to keep it for now and we received the lease but we’re still considering. It’s been such a stressful situation for all of us, because of how big of a decision it is. I’m tired of big decisions. Ever since August it feels like I’ve been making them every single month.

No one ever told me how hard graduating and moving on from school would be, and I feel sort of betrayed. Everyone said how weird it was to go to college and I felt almost prepared for that. This, though. This is different. My mum keeps saying, “Welcome to the real world,” but it’s the real world on a student salary, with a student mindset, and I have known nothing else outside of what I see when I stand on the corner of Speedway and 24th Street. School.

So I’m not sure what to do right now. And even though we got the lease Friday night they’re already sending us reminders to sign it.

I wish everyone would stop talking about the economy. Talking about how bad it is can only make things worse, because everyone gets terrified and then they don’t spend money and right now the best thing everyone can do is act like everything is normal. But it’s like you can’t even read a decorating magazine or an article about bunnies without hearing about it. It’s enough to make you scream, especially for a “just-getting-out-of-school-20-something.” It’s as if people are obsessed.

It’s raining for the first time in a long time. Hot and rainy is the weather for today. Hot and rainy and therefore disgustingly humid, but it’s the first time we’ve had rain in awhile.

Tomorrow is J’s and my one year anniversary.

I’m not one to sit and mope these days. But sometimes you just need a weekend to be a bit bummed out about how fast your life is moving.

February 9, 2009 @ 9:10 am . Comments (5)

Culture — Tags: bad luck, Future, the world

4008 House

As you may know, J and I are considering flats for next year. Our requirements are pretty high - it needs to allow cats (as we have two now - cat post soon!). I also want a washer/dryer, simply because I clean up spills and things with rags and towels, not paper products, and I need an easy way to wash these. Additionally, I want to be able to line dry them, and this is hard to do when you have to carry heavy, wet laundry from the public laundry. And my last requirement was that it have lots of big windows. My current flat is windowless. I’m serious. There’s a total of four windows - one in each room, and honestly, three of them are useless. My roommate keeps his door shut because of the cats, so that’s one window. The kitchen window is tiny. And the living room window faces a wall. There’s no light in here! We’re living in perpetual darkness with oppressive artificial lights. Ugh.

Anyway, J ended up finding a house that meets all our requirements. The rent is a bit steeper than what I’d hope, but I have to admit it does have a lot of windows. J loves it - it has a yard and it’s in a decent area of town, so our new cat Sata can actually go outside. I’m still considering. This is a huge commitment, and a house is really intimidating.

So! Here are the pros:

1. It’s private. Apartments around here are ALWAYS full of university students, so they tend to be noisy, with an annoying university atmosphere. When I’m done with school, although I’m still going to be here working in Austin, I’d like to get AWAY from that kind of culture, at least when I’m at home. The house is private and surrounded by Real Families, which means I’d be away from the fraternity/partying/university culture.
2. It’s big. It’s not big for a house, certainly, but it’s much bigger than most of the apartments we can get for the same amount of money. It has two bedrooms and a spare room in the back, along with living, kitchen, and dining. This means we get to have a bedroom, study, and spare room for guests and whatever else.
3. It has TONS of windows. Seriously. Every picture of this place was sunny and bright, even the bathroom. Not a single room was window-less.
4. It has a yard, and a shed in the back. J insists he’ll take care of the yard, and it’ll be nice to have somewhere to relax in the morning. It has a slab of concrete in the back acting as a back porch, and we could put a little table out there to have our morning coffee. It’s not the prettiest, but it IS a yard, and the shed can act as extra storage for bikes and lawn mowers and whatever.
5. The kitchen and dining are separate rooms. I know this is really silly, but I HATE the trend these days of having the kitchen and the eating area be one room, or even opening up the kitchen and dining to the living room. My current apartment places the kitchen and dining in the living room, separating them by a bar over the counters. It’s really common and I hate it. I much prefer to have a separate kitchen, and a separate dining room.
6. Hardwood floors. Augustus, our long-haired cat, LOVES tile and hardwood because he gets so hot in the summer. I love hardwood because it doesn’t collect dirt and cat fur and it’s just beautiful, and trust me, when it’s 110F outside, you do NOT want carpet.
7. There’s an actual hallway. But at the same time, all the rooms are connected to each other. The floorplan is just really nice and accessible, and no room would go unused.

Here are the cons:

1. The rooms are painted god-awful colors. I’m not even lying. All the rooms are painted sage green except for the kitchen and bathroom - those are canary yellow. CANARY YELLOW. Just thinking about it makes me want to hurl. J is going to ask if we can re-paint the walls a more neutral color, like white or pale gray, but I don’t have high hopes. I think I could live with the sage green (green is by far my least favorite color, though). But canary yellow? Come on! It’s not the 80s anymore.
2. No curtain rods on the windows. Not a big deal, as the windows have nice molding around them, and the blinds aren’t mini-blinds, but bigger, lovely white ones. So even without curtains it wouldn’t be a big deal, but I’d still like the option.
3. It’s really big. I dunno. We just don’t need THAT much space. It is nice, but J has a tendency of buying stuff to fill up space, and I’m a HUGE minimalist. I want to have the computers and such separated from the bedroom, so I wanted a two-bedroom flat to have a study separate, but then we have one more extra room. Not sure what we’d do with it … I was thinking a guest room but we honestly would hardly ever have guests, and I don’t want one of the rooms to go unused.
4. It’s on the pricey side. Okay, keep in mind this is AUSTIN, where they have half a million dollar one-bedroom CONDOS downtown. Compared to that, it’s dirt-cheap. On the other hand, if we were to live thirty-minutes north, we could find a house to rent for 2/3 of what we’d be paying. I’d rather pay the extra money to live in Austin, but it still is pricey. It’s a big commitment, money-wise. I don’t want to jump into this.
5. The yard would take a lot of work. It’s really nice if we could fix it up - there’s a big tree in the back and a few trees in the front, but right now it’s sort of patches of dirt and a bit of grass. We would have to replant grass back there, and then we have to cut it and water it every few days in the summer. I’m really not a yard-work person. I don’t think I’d mind mowing, but trust me when I say the yard needs work.
6. No garbage disposal. Not a huge deal, especially because we could have a compost bin now that we have a yard and stuff where we can actually USE compost.
7. THIS IS SCARY! I’m only twenty-one! I know a lot of people around here rent houses, but it’s different when you’re moving in with your boyfriend and you have two cats and you’re not in school anymore. It feels so grown-up and scary!

It’s tough to say. I haven’t actually seen the place yet. That’s going to happen today. I’ve just seen pictures. I was going to post them here, but the current residents are still there, and so the house still has their stuff in it, and I’m not comfortable posting pictures of other people’s stuff. The pictures make it look nice, and J insists it’s even more wonderful in person, but there’s so much to think about right now. And the sucky thing is we have to make a decision fairly soon, because it can and WILL get snapped up soon.

I dunno. What do you guys think? I’m really needing some advice and input right now. It’s hard to find a place that satisfies all my requirements - lots of windows, washer/dryer, allows cats. This is a really lucky find. But there’s really so much to think about. I just don’t know. Can you think of any other important questions I should ask the realtor before we make a decision? What would you do?

January 29, 2009 @ 9:35 am . Comments (4)

Future — Tags: apartment, Future, living

Health myths

The other day I learned that we don’t actually need 8 glasses of water a day. Now, I had never really believed that, and honestly I found it rather silly so I’ve never been a water drinker (mostly juice, coffee, and tea - I don’t like the taste of water in general), but I started noticing how everyone had a water bottle. It was weird to me, and honestly I don’t like drinking too much because I hate having to run to the bathroom, but I went with it. People have done stranger things.

Anyway, then I read something recently that made me research this further. We don’t need eight glasses of water a day. It’s a “gross estimate,” “flat wrong,” and you only need a liter of liquid a day, most of which you get through food. In fact, it can be dangerous in some instances to drink eight glasses of water every day. And you can get your water intake through caffeinated or sugary beverages. For someone who isn’t used to caffeine, 1 cup of coffee == 2/3 cup of water. And if you are used to drinking caffeine, a cup of coffee is just like having a cup of water. Tea, juice, milk and caffeinated sodas all give you the same benefits of water. These all do not dehydrate you.

And yet despite all these studies everyone still spends thirty bucks and a chunk out of the environment buying bottled water every week. This is stupid. During my research I saw that people were struggling to drink eight glasses of water, and I saw people feeling guilty and bad about themselves for not hitting the mark. I couldn’t believe it - do people seriously guilt-trip themselves because they’re not drinking eight glasses of water a day? I couldn’t do that! I’d be going to the bathroom every thirty seconds.

They’ve shown that drinking isn’t even the most effective way to get water. It just passes right through your system. Eating vegetables and fruit is more effective because your body has time to absorb the water while it’s digesting. You are NOT walking around dehydrated. When you’re thirty, you still have plenty of time to drink before becoming dehydrated.

I just can’t believe this has turned into a nationwide phenomenon. It feels like that one time when everyone was doing the Atkin’s Diet. In fact, while we’re on depressed thoughts about our health, consider this article. It states that you have to exercise more than you think you do, eating more of something doesn’t help you lose weight, and your body and our culture are working against you. The only one I don’t agree with is number 8, simply because I know for a fact that losing weight can help with blood pressure and diabetes - the less you weigh, the less likely you are to have high blood pressure or Type II Diabetes, and furthermore, I feel like a lot of people use stuff like this as an excuse to not get healthy. They read it and say, “Oh, my lifestyle is justified,” when in reality they’re horribly unhealthy. It’s not about the weight, it’s about how likely you are to die.

I’m concerned, I really am. I’m worried about the health of the world and the health of the next generation. When I hear about things like childhood obesity and kids developing heart problems and diabetes and high blood pressure, I get so angry and upset. There’s so many myths we take for granted, and we don’t bother to research what’s actually going on. And the worst of it is we feel that if everyone is doing something, it’s more okay for us to do it too.

I want to see everyone get healthy and lose weight, for the sake of their future. I hope that this most recent wave of healthier foods on the shelves will help this.

January 27, 2009 @ 10:34 am . Comments (3)

Health — Tags: Future, Health, well-being

The last first day of school

It doesn’t even feel real. You’re used to waking up and dragging your butt out of bed and walking/biking/riding the bus to school every single morning for the past fifteen and a half years. And then suddenly you wake up and you realize, “Today is the last first day of school in possibly my entire life.”

I’m so ready to be done with all of this, but on the other hand it’s a little sad. I think this semester is going to be filled with a lot of moments like that. There are parts about school that I hate (like doing a project or staying up late studying), but I will miss these moments all the same. It’s weird looking back and seeing an entire schooling behind you, and look at how far you’ve come.

One of the classes I’m taking this semester is a class most people take either sophomore or junior year. I had put it off for awhile and it’s strange just how easy it all seems. I look back and I realize just how much I’ve learned - I’ve learned to program, I’ve learned how an operating system works, I’ve learned how little voltages create an entire huge system. I’ve learned about gates and Turing Machines and regular expressions and I’ve even proven that the set of all numbers is infinite.

And now it’s almost over. It doesn’t mean that I will stop learning. It just means that things will change. I’m excited. It’s no secret that I seriously hate school. But there’s also something so familiar about it all that will soon be gone.

January 22, 2009 @ 9:51 am . Comments (7)

Future — Tags: change, computer science, Future, school

Overwhelmed about changes

This semester has been by far the most stressful semester I’ve ever had, but I realized today that it’s because so much stuff has happened.

This semester, I moved out on my own for the first time. It’s really made me so sensitive to the fact that I was alone. I realized I hate being home alone. And then my brother moved out, and I wasn’t ready for that to happen. And then this is my last semester of school for quite possibly ever, depending on whether I decide to get another degree or go to grad school. But for now, this is it. And then I had to start interviewing for jobs for after I graduate.

Everything has been so fast this semester. I’ve been so tired and overwhelmed lately and I realized that it’s because all of this has been going on.

I did end up getting a full time job as a developer in a web consulting company. That’s why J and I are going to start looking seriously for a decent flat downtown, or a cozy little house or duplex in north Austin. I’m scared of the future but I’m slowly accepting that things have to change. I’m at that stage in my life where everything changes.

Slowly I’m accepting everything that’s been going on. It’s been hard but it’s been… okay. No one ever told me that I’d still be learning about growing up when I’m twenty-one.

December 28, 2008 @ 8:49 pm . Comments (3)

Future — Tags: change, Future, real life

Looking forward

My life is seriously taking off. Within one day I feel like I’ve grown up a lot. I can’t give too many details right now, but I feel like I’m on my way.

Also, J and I are looking for Really Nice But Not Insanely Expensive Apartments downtown. So far they’re pretty pricey but we’re willing to pay a little extra for something that:

1. Allows pets. Period. There is no compromising on this because we are unwilling to even think about giving up the cat.
2. Has either big windows or hardwood floors, ideally both, because of Augustus and because I just like lots of sunlight (in Texas hardwood, even fake hardwood, is good because it gets so hot, and Augustus likes to lay on the non-carpeted floor when it’s summer)
3. Has preferably either a washer/dryer or a washer/dryer hookup. I hate doing laundry in laundromats. It feels so college-y.

We’ve already found a few contenders and we don’t have to move out until next year. I know, I know, it’s early, but we really want to start looking (not seriously) to see what’s generally available in what areas and at what price. It’s been interesting and kind of fun, actually.

Anyway, this is short but I’m so tired. I’m hoping for a redesign of this website soon - I’ve already got the layout, I just need to code it up. Alright, time to go snuggle with my boy and my cat.

December 9, 2008 @ 8:15 pm . Comments (4)

Future — Tags: apartment, Future, real life

Schedule

School starts in less than two weeks. I feel like this summer needs to last awhile longer, which is odd, because usually by the end of most summers I start feeling like it’s time to go back to school. I’m really not looking forward to the fall, but I’ve only got two semesters left, so who am I to complain? I’ve gone through so much crap just to get the schedule I want - it’s ridiculous.

Dealing with the school’s bureaucracy crap is the stupidest thing a student ever has to go through. My advisors were great - they did what they could. But the rest of it was like DO YOU GUYS EVER THINK THIS THROUGH?! So, the state of Texas looked at the number of students who actually graduate in four years and it was insanely low, so they said, “Man, those kids sure are slacking. They’re probably taking useless classes they don’t even need. Let’s give them a financial incentive so they can get their butts into gear!”

Guess what happened? Despite the thousand or so dollars you get for graduating in four years, the numbers haven’t picked up. I guess we weren’t slacking after all.

No, they like to screw you over in the worst way possible. You’re unable to get into a class you need due to some stupid nonsense, like a section was canceled. So you’re all, “Okay, whatever, I’ll get into it next semester.”

Next semester, you try. But it turns out that class that you weren’t planning on taking conflicts with another class you WERE planning on taking! What do you do? They’re both required and this is your planned last semester before graduation. There’s nothing you CAN do at this point. You have to take another semester, delaying, or perhaps even ruining, all your plans for getting a job (maybe you got one already and now have to turn it down) or moving (you’ve got to delay that now) or traveling (you’ve got to try to trade in your tickets or maybe return them) or going to grad school (you have to somehow delay this by a semester or decline the admission).

I realized a few weeks ago I might run into this situation due to the lack of teachers in the computer science department - the waitlist for these classes were stretching to forty, even fifty people. I managed to get into both the classes I needed through a lot of thinking and stressing and figuring things out and living on the course schedule. But what if I couldn’t? It’s such a stupid system.

I realized a lot of people don’t graduate on time through no fault of their own. Now if only the state of Texas would realize that too …

August 19, 2008 @ 8:52 pm . Comments (2)

General — Tags: computer science, Future, school

Thoughts about the future

So, I’m on day three of an Internet-less existence. Being alone in an apartment without contact with the outside world, as well as living by myself for the first time, has really given me a new perspective on myself. I’m finding out what I do when there’s no one around affects who I am. I’m realizing I’m often lazier than I thought I was, but on the other hand, I feel like I deserve a few weeks before school starts up.

I had a long conversation with my roommate last night that put a lot of things into perspective. I feel like I need to just settle down for awhile and relax and stop caring about what other people think. I’m nervous about the upcoming year, it’s true, but I don’t want to be nervous. I want things to go the way I want them to, which includes a lot of travel and a lot of volunteer work and maybe getting a job for a non-profit organization, but I feel like I have a duty to be responsible with a 9-5 for the sake of myself.

My roommate made things clear when she talked about her future plans. She wasn’t worried about money, or about proving herself, or about doing anything like that. She wasn’t afraid to do what she wants to do, and I admire that immensely. I just wish I could go back and rethink my plans to become a CS major. In all honesty, I wish I had decided to get a business degree.

Obviously it’s too late now - I’m graduating next year. I can still continue on to get an MBA, but I feel like I still made a mistake. Now I just have to figure out how to deal with that mistake.

I know what I don’t want. I don’t want to end up working for a huge corporation, expecting to code until my fingers bleed. I don’t want that kind of life. I don’t want it at all. I want to be able to travel, I want to work with people, I want to do design work and project management. I’m just not sure if I can get it.

August 5, 2008 @ 1:17 pm . Comments (3)

General — Tags: Future, insecurities

Birthday

Tomorrow is my birthday at last. The last year has been rocky at best. Twenty has been filled with a bit too much drama for my taste and I’m glad to see the year go. I was really happy to turn twenty, actually. Most people consider it to be sort of a nothing-birthday - there’s no major milestone involved with it. But I’m pleased with turning twenty-one.

I feel like I’m more me than I ever have been. I’m completely happy with J and I feel like I’ve done everything right with him. I’m happy with school and I’m facing some of the best years of my life. I’m finding out what I like and don’t like. I’m discovering that I like who I am and I don’t want to force myself to be the person I think others want me to be. I know this seems really obvious but it’s amazing how frequently we as people can get insecure. I tend to get insecure about two big things: my accomplishments and experience in my major, and how other people perceive me. I’m getting much better, though.

I’m realizing that I like design and managing people better than programming. I also care about other people being comfortable around me, which used to stress me out endlessly, trying to ensure that everyone liked me. Now I feel better about myself and I don’t stress about other people’s opinion of me as much.

I feel like in the next year I’m going to find myself even more. I’m planning a trip to Montreal for next summer. I’m also moving out next week, which will be a challenge. I have to begin looking for jobs and focus on graduating from school. It’s going to be a busy year but I think I’ll be up for it.

For now, though, I’m going to relax and enjoy my twenty-first.

July 24, 2008 @ 7:41 pm . Comments (3)

General — Tags: Future, insecurities

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